


Don't Tell Me Where the Road Ends

by enbyboiwonder



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s03e14 Father + Bride + Betrayal, First Kiss, M/M, Nonbinary Angus MacGyver, Nonbinary Character, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 01:48:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17613134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enbyboiwonder/pseuds/enbyboiwonder
Summary: Mac knows all this already; Jack told them as much when he checked in on them in the hospital two weeks ago.  That he’s bringing it up again…“I been asked to lead the hunt for him this time around.”Yeah.  Can only mean bad news.





	Don't Tell Me Where the Road Ends

**Author's Note:**

> Well, fuck, it looks like Jack's going back to the military after all.  I can't say I'm happy about it, but at least they've given him an actual reason to leave Mac, and not just completely ignored the whole "if you go kaboom, I go kaboom" thing like I was (admittedly more than) half expecting, what with how they've treated his character the rest of this season.  Oh, this ep's gonna kill me, I can already tell.  Even just the preview has killed me.
> 
> [02/02 Update:  In 3.13, I definitely heard them pronounce Tiberius' surname as _'ko vaks_ (the Anglicized pronunciation of the Hungarian surname Kovács), but it seems he's actually Croatian because now they're saying Kovac (either way, though, it should be pronounced _'ko vach_ , just saying), so that's been fixed, but my attitude toward the rest is "fuck canon, anyway."  Writing overly romantic shit is my coping mechanism.]
> 
> The title's from [Angels on the Moon](https://youtu.be/S38-mjy5NtA) by Thriving Ivory.  Also, a few lines from [the extended version](https://youtu.be/m1v4_raxIxg) have been going through my head a lot lately, especially in relation to this scene, so, uh:
> 
> _And you know the pain that brought you here today_   
>  _So what can you do?_   
>  _You know the tears from losing those you love_   
>  _When yesterday's gone_
> 
> _So please remember not to waste another day_   
>  _Not to worry your mind_   
>  _And please forgive me for taking so much time_   
>  _To get back on my feet_
> 
> Excuse me while I go cry.

The door to Jack's apartment opens after the first knock.  The smile that he offers Mac as he ushers them inside doesn't quite reach his eyes.  "Hey."

"Hey."  Mac doesn't know what they were expecting when Jack called them over, but it wasn't this, wasn't Jack hesitant and not quite looking at them but not quite avoiding looking at them either, hanging back in the entryway after he's closed the door.  "What's up?"

Jack turns to them, an unreadable expression on his face.  "I wanted you to hear this first, from me," he says.  "Ten years ago, y'know, I was part of a mission to take down a Croatian terrorist by name of Tiberius Kovac.  I pulled the trigger on him myself, but he survived, and he's started turning up again recently."

"Okay," Mac says carefully, dreading where this is going and struggling to tamp down on it.  They know all this already; Jack told them as much when he checked in on them in the hospital two weeks ago.  That he's bringing it up again…

"I been asked to lead the hunt for him this time around."

Yeah.  Can only mean bad news.

"I'm shippin' out from Phoenix after we finish babysittin' that crime lord.  I dunno how long I'll be gone.  Guy's slippery.  And—"  Jack picks up a small yellow envelope from the picnic table and hands it to Mac, who takes it and carefully tips the contents out into their palm: it's a brass key.  They look up at Jack, eyes widening.  "I want you to look after this place for me 'til I get back.  Just, look after my plants, I'll have a watering schedule for ya, though they're pretty low-maintenance.  Make sure it doe'n't get too dusty in here.  Ah, and the…"

"Jack."

"Yeah, you know what to do," he says a little sheepishly.

Mac blinks a few times, looking off somewhere past Jack's right shoulder, willing away the tightness in their throat.  They clutch the key a little tighter, chasing after that last bit of cold left on the bow, needs it to steady themself.  After a moment, they look up to meet Jack's eyes.  "So you invited me here to…"

"To say goodbye to a good friend," Jack finishes when Mac can't, nodding solemnly.

Mac just stares at him, unable to do anything else, has to remind themself to breathe.  The teeth of the key bite into their palm.  It's the only thing that feels real, right now.

"I have to do it, Mac.  He—"

"I know," they say quickly, can't listen to this, can't do this, can't— "And I know why I can't go with you."  But oh, they want to.  But they don't have the right to ask, don't even have the right to be this hurt by it, not after how they left last summer, and with less notice than this, should just be glad that they get the chance to say a proper goodbye.  All they can do is what Jack wants of them, and it means a whole damned lot that he's entrusted this to them, after everything.

Jack might say something then, but Mac doesn't really hear it.  They slip the key back into the envelope and fidget with the flap to give themself time to process, tearing it a little along the crease.

"I need you to promise me you'll come back."

"Of course I will.  You think one little Croatian terrorist is gonna do me in?"

Mac looks up to see him grinning wryly at them, trying to joke his way through this, as usual.  The envelope's thick paper crumples as their fingers curl into a fist around it, a burst of irrational anger flaring with frustration in their chest.  "Jack.  Please take this seriously.  I know I've been distant lately, and I'm sorry.  But I care about you, okay, more than anything.  So please promise me that you'll come back to me."  Their breath hitches in their throat, their voice breaking as they whisper, "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Understanding starts to light in Jack's eyes, but he's still not getting it, not truly, and it's important, suddenly, that he _does_.  Mac steps forward and fists their free hand in Jack's shirt and kisses him, intending to keep it short and more-or-less chaste but unmistakable as to how they feel, but Jack kisses them back like he was expecting it, reaches up to frame their jaw in his hands and coaxes them into deepening the kiss, and Mac lets themself be drawn in.  It's even more painful than a goodbye, knowing they could have had this all this time, but it's also tacit promise: with every touch of lips and tongue, Jack says  _I'll miss you_ and  _I'm coming back_ and  _This ain't really goodbye_ , says the  _I love you_ that he never has the words for.

Mac knows they're crying now but can't seem to stop, but Jack doesn't seem to mind, just brushes their tears away with his thumbs.  It's all too much, and they break away with a shaky breath.  One of Jack's hands slips into Mac's hair, cradling their head as he rests their foreheads together, the other dropping to rest at their hip, just holding them close.

"You got one helluva sense of timin', hoss," Jack says roughly.

"Yeah, well, I can't exactly time-travel," they say, wry and bitter and hating every minute of this.

"Hey," Jack says, soft, the hand at the back of Mac's head sliding down to their neck, thumb running along the curve of their jaw until they meet his eyes again.  "I'll be fine.  We're goin' down together, remember?  This ain't forever.  So take care of yourself too while I'm gone, 'kay?"

Mac leans back to wipe their cheeks dry on their sleeve and nods.  "Yeah," they say.  "I promise."  Jack smiles, gentle and tinged with melancholy, and Mac finds themself blinking away tears anew.  " _Fuck_ ," they breathe, scrubbing furiously at their eyes.

"S'okay," Jack tells them, guiding Mac's hands away from their face and drawing Mac into his arms.  They go willingly, burying their face in Jack's collar and wrapping their arms around his middle, the fingers not holding onto the key twisting into the soft, dark material of his shirt.  One warm hand rubs a slow, soothing path up and down Mac's back, the other resting curled over their nape, just holding them, letting them ride it out.  He feels safe—god, he feels like home.  Jack turns his head, presses a kiss to their hair.  "We'll be okay," he says, voice soft and full of conviction, and Mac can't help but believe him.


End file.
